Below is a resource from 5/25/17.
Developing and Maintaining Relationships
Making disciples requires relationships. Jesus (the ultimate disciple maker), was the greatest preacher that ever lived. But His method for reaching the world was not preaching, it was loving relationships with a few men. Jesus was constantly building and cultivating relationships. He knew that movements happen through people, not programs. If we want to do what Jesus did in reaching the world with the gospel, we must get good at being relational. No matter if we are trying to form a D-Group, or already leading one, we need to be constantly working at relationship building. I love how Jesus speaks to His disciples in John 15.
"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." - John 15:12-15
Jesus here describes His disciples as friends. They are not projects, they are not a means to accomplish His goals, they are friends. The context for true discipleship is friendship. Here are a few elements to growing strong relationships for disciple making.
Intentional pursuit - When Jesus built relationships with the disciples, He actively pursued them. He engaged them with the first question and invitation, He also followed up with a direct call. (John 2:35-39, Mark 1:16-20) Many times in the gospels it is said, "Jesus called His disciples to Him and said..." This shows that He was the one initiating most of their interactions. So to build good relationships, we must be the ones to pursue others. Practical, be first to introduce yourself and start conversation. Be purposeful to set up a follow up meetings. Ask good questions to find out more about them. Go the extra mile to seek them out and meet them where they are.
Time - Relationships require a significant amount of time and presence. Jesus Himself incarnated Himself into human life in order to be close to humans as reach them. (John 1:14) To build good relationships we must be present enough and patient enough to allow communication and trust to deepen. Practical, be consistent. Be around, be available, don't give up.
Loving Service - Jesus had tangible ways of showing His disciples that He loved and cared about them. (John 13:1;3-5) Serving others and putting their needs before your own builds trust. It communicates love with action. To build good relationships, we must be willing to serve others. Practical, provide a listening ear, assist in physical labor, honor them on special occasions, rejoice with them, mourn with them.
Grace - Jesus is the living embodiment of grace. Not only did He die upon the cross to bring the free gift of eternal life to His followers, but also, in His relationships with His disciples, there were many times He had to graciously pardon their mistakes and wrong thinking. (John 21:15-17) To build strong relationships we must extend grace and be quick to forgive when wronged. Practical, own your mistakes, don't hold grudges, be kind and long suffering, seek to understand experiences and perspectives of others.
Challenge - Jesus was always teaching and training His disciples to live as citizens of the kingdom of heaven. He was constantly challenging them with truth from God's word on how they should see things and respond to things. (Mark 10:41-45) Authentic loving relationships hold one another accountable to the truth, challenging them to live in step with the gospel. Practical, confront issues face to face, speak clear and kind about the truth, resist the urge to overlook things just to keep the peace.
The context for true discipleship is friendship.
Grace & Peace, Scott